you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize