you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
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It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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