oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
