You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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