no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
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Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
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I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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