the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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