Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
