i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
