at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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