i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
