it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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