He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?