i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.