He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.