The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
