I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
