This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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