My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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