Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
