the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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