I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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