You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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