yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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