I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
