im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
