anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
