Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
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Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
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He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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