I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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