no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
