We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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