Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
