her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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