The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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