Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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