I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
