So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize