Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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