my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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