I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
