kristin has been a bad kristin
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
