did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
