true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
