we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
