i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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