Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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