the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.