What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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