she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The Olympian is in my bed
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
