Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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