I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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