I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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