I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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