I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
