ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sponge bath it is.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
