I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
