I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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